Empty Stage

The Family Jewels

Stage Performer

Hall of Fame

Tribute to the All-star TFJ Stage Performers who rocked the stages through the ages!


The Legendary Azz

TFJ Stage Performer: '92-'97

Original SP

Specialties: Homeless man, Trombone player, Freak, Alien, Chickenman

Greatest Moment:

During the debut of the 1997 TFJ Classic "Slum," emerged from a pile of papers at the foot of the stage, scaring the audience half to death. 

Christopher "MC Evil Jesus" Wallach

TFJ Stage Performer: 1996 to 2000

Specialties: Pimp, Mentally Disabled, Pornoconfetti

Where is he now?: Chris is chillin' in Queens


Geoff Rickley

TFJ Stage Performer: 1996 to 1999

Specialties: Alien, Wheelchair victim, Nurse, Lonesome Guy on Stage, Homeless man, Chickenman

Where is he now?: Geoff went on to front the successful emo-group "Thursday"

Punk legend, Joe Darone

TFJ Stage Performer: 1996 to 2000

Specialties: Chickenman, S&M Demon Boy, Apple Pie thrower

Notes: Joe Co-Produced TFJ's 2nd Album "Chuck and Louise"

Where is he now?: Joe was in Suit of Lights and now does some big-time suit work in the NYC area.


Paul "Pimpfabulous" Campos

TFJ Stage Performer: 1996 to 1998 


Pimp, TFJ Merchandise Distributor, horns

Where is he now?:

Paul is still pimpin' it old school.

Joltin' Joe Fass

TFJ Stage Performer: 1992 to 1993

Specialties: Lacrosse Player, Tricyclist, clothesline holder, bowling ball roller

Notes: Joe mysteriously vanished after The Family Jewels first ever performance at the 1992 EHS Variety show. His legendary performance lives on in the hearts, minds, and souls of those who witnessed it.

Where is he now?: Whereabouts unknown.